Edward Guglielmino

I invented the most popular school game of all time. If I got $1 for every time someone yelled Penis out in class I’d be a milionare.

It all started back in 1999 when I was in year 10. I was bored shitless and decided I would formulate a game. The aim of the game was to yell PENIS as loud as you could without getting a detention. The winner would be the person who yelled it second last. Of course the game would start off with a whisper ‘penis’, then the next person at speaking voice “Penis”, then over and over it would go. Once class member managed a proper yell several times before getting caught. He was the legend of year 10.

Well it so happened that the game was passed along all the grades until everyone was playing it. Then I heard that boys from another school were playing it. Before I knew it all the schools were playing it against each other at the sporting events when we were supposed to be cheering our teams. Occasionally going for “Vagina” when “Penis” got boring. I didn’t think that much of it other than what a fun game it was until in 2004 I traveled to New York.  I met a bunch of college “jocks” there. They invited me back to their apartment to listen to Sigur Ros and smoke pot, while smoking bongs, they started laughing about the times they played “Penis” is high school. I tried to convince them I invented the game. We were all stoned they thought I was joking. Loads of laughs as I went blue in the face telling the story of how I was the first to yell penis and get a detention in 1999.

In 2007 I went to Berlin for the first time, I thought for a lark I would check if the German kids played Penis in class. I went up to a bunch of school girls and said in broken German “Spielen Sie das Spiel Penis?” (do you play the game penis?). The girls all laughed, one spoke english and said it was there favorite game for maths class.  I couldn’t believe it. Since then I have been nearly everywhere costal in Australia and the game is played nation wide. Its played in Prague, its played in London, LA, Greece, world wide this game is known.

I invented a world famous game for high school kids (and I can only guess some primary school kids). Unbelievable. The only place it hasn’t taken off is Japan. This could also be because I spoke bad Japanese to some school girls who bowed and walked away.

So really in life I have achieved two things inventing the game penis, and accidententally smuggling coke over 3 boarders (wait to next week for that story).