on making it
On the subject of ‘making it’ as a musician. People talk about ‘making it’ themselves or asking me if i think I am going to ‘make it’.
What do people mean buy make it? I think they mean, will I be a millionare rockstar with number one singles like the beatles had, traveling the world constantly with a deal with EMI or SONY and my face in pepsi max ads?
Or the cool Nick Cave, or Sarah Blasko underground cred indie muso?
Althought I would love this to happen (really I would, get allot of satsification if my music became a part of mass-popular culture) I don’t consider this making it, it just a career path, its just a version of events. It just a group of events leading to a certain destiny.
I have friends who have forfilled thier destinies in this way, and its a beautiful thing, I am so proud and happy for them. But for me, when someone asks if I am going to ‘make it’ I get confused.
When I did my first paid show two years ago, my intention was to get to the point where most of my time was spent being creative, playing, writing, and consuming art. I knew in my heart I could make this happen. Sitting here and writing this in an internet cafe in Melbourne, I feel I have everything I have ever asked for. A good audience, plenty of gigs, in many different places on the planet.
I have also found my meaning of life, and a true peace with what I am doing.
When I was 15 I dreamed of being Marilyn Mason or Kurt Cobain every time I put thier cds this was a teenage dream, but now I have grown up, I will not be disappointed if I never get to sing on the MTV awards, or appear on the cover of rollingstone.
I know now that I will never let myself down, that this is the life that I have chosen, despite the friendly advice of realitves or washed up musicians I will never ever give up performing or writing music, I may not always be able to do it for a living, but I have learnt to live on nothing, so a 20 hour job will never get in the way of what I am ment to be doing.
So my mantra is that I have made it, and if people find this arrogant so be it, because I would rather be arragant than living in disappointment like so many do.
