Fame – not us
Because my music career hasn’t been funded by a major label. Because everything that has bought me to this point here has been a small step, one foot in front of the other. Everything happens so slowly that I can never be sure, if infact I am a mental case with a serious delusion about my status, or if in fact this is morning I have woken up to find out I made that last step over to the fame line..
Matt my band mate and guitarist tells me not think about it, but it can be hard when it becomes more and more a part of my day to day existence. So am I famous? or am I just a nutcase?
One friend of mine at one point was extraordinary famous, he couldn’t get a coffee with me without a swam of fans coming up to him. We couldn’t do much out, so we usually hung out at mine, or he wore a big hat.
Experiencing the trappings of fame though someone else made me realize that.
1. I am not famous, nor are a few people in my life who seem to think they are. (no names mentioned, but you know who you are)
2.I never want to be a delusion fuckhead who thinks he is famous, even though really he is actually a blip.
3. Although I still want to live comfortably of my music, if I can avoid being famous in the process that would be rather awesome.
I think one thing about the experience of celebrity, its always amplified if your the object of celebratory desire. 99.99999999999% of the people on this earth have absolutely no idea who I am, in which case I am not at all famous not even slightly.
However people have told me I am, some people seem to have convinced themselves that I am a celebrity of some sort, (and I argue with them, which I think they think is false modesty).
Due to the weirdness of my name, on many occasion my parents are asked if they are related to me when people spot there names on the cards ect.
Also open my public email address and there will be about 60 – 70 emails a day from people about my music. I rarely go out to the small valley I live in without people I don’t know saying hello to me.
I used to do facebook, but I cannot because to many weirdos poke me and send me funny feedback about my shows.
So perhaps I get to experience all the shit things about fame, without any of the good things. Perhaps I am well known figure amongst poor, unemployed, disenchanted wankers, who buy one of my records and burn it to 50 of there friends. (sorry guys you know I love you)
Because if you haven’t noticed I still work for a music venue to make ends meet.
Perhaps we need to coin a new term for the modern underground artist going though what I am going though.
Something like Fame-arse. or Briz-celbritiy.
